Sunday 28 May 2017

Dating or Dated?

It has been so hot here lately that I had to get some trousers other than my jeans.  I love my jeans and am seldom seen out of them, and I almost NEVER wear  a dress or skirt. Maybe I would if I had long, slender, tanned legs but short legs and chubby thighs run in my family...

Anyway, I bought some Thai Fishermens' pants which looked really cool for the summer weather.  What I didn't realise is that they are about a metre wide and you have to kind of wrap them around you and tie the strings round your waist to wear them.  Of sourse, although that is fine, it does mean that if you wear a loose blouse or T-shirt over them you have this strange bulge in the front, where your waist should be.  If you have the figure to wear a crop top then you're fine!  Unfortunately, I don't...

Thai Fishermens' pants

Still, they ARE cool ( in the sense of not making you hot when you wear them) and I know I probably shouldn't care so much about what I look like.

And that brings me on to the subject of this post.

My last post was all about loneliness and I finally decided that I would never find someone to care about me unless I made some sort of effort.  No - I don't mean plastic surgery (that's beyond my means) - I mean Internet Dating.  Ta Dah!!!!

So I joined the dating site of a well-known British newspaper...


You can put on all the information you want to, including pictures, for free, but if you want to contact someone who is designated as a 'match' for you, you have to pay.  You CAN send them what the site calls a 'one-liner' and there are 15 of these to choose from - all dreadful!


If you want to say more than this - you have to pay. Of course.  'How much?' I hear you ask - well for just one month it's £32.  It reduces if you subscribe for longer, but how much is enough to pay for someone you have never met - sometimes never seen (only 14% add a photo to their profile) - just so that you can have a few words with them to find out if they might be interesting.

I filled in my form very honestly - my correct age and very recent photos.  I'm not sure everyone was quite as honest...

I suppose I shoudn't have been surprised to find that men want a woman who is younger than them, whereas I would be happy to find a man the same age as me, or older. Perhaps that was predictable.  Maybe we all have an idea of the person we are looking for (not that I have) and they are probably not some old fogey.

Still, I have not had any luck so far.  I got a reply from one man who ended up taking everything I said the wrong way.  He seemed to be a bitter man, angry about the way life had treated him. Not a good start. Needless to say we don't email any more :-)

While my month's membership was still active I decided to email as many men as I felt might be vaguely compatible with me.  Only two responded.  One was laid up in a hospital bed, the other had not subscribed and could only send one-liners.  After 3 of those I replied that I would not correspond with him any more, as he hadn't even posted a photo!

So, a little despondent, I am still waiting for my 'match'. Out here, in rural France, there is very little chance of meeting a man in the normal way of things - whatever that 'normal way of things' might be.  I'm not looking for perfection, I'm probably not perfect myself (that's a joke by the way) just someone I can talk to  and maybe share some of life's little pleasures with.  Even a walk is very little fun if you are on your own...

Oh, by the way, if you have a good male friend that you think might be just my sort - don't hesitate to put him in touch with me!

3 comments:

Elizabethd said...

Are there any group things near you? Walking group, choir? Church? Dinner club etc etc. Brittany used to be full of the things. At lest you would have the chance to see people as they are rather than as they pretend to be on line!

Babajeza said...

Of course, you shouldn't worry. That's the best part of getting older and more independent. There is nothing better than a skirt when it is hot. The trousers are cool! You could knot a shirt or blouse to go with this kind of trousers. Regula

Joy said...

I'm glad you're being honest in your description of yourself. There's no point in making ourselves appear to be anything other than what we are. And as for those men who expect perfection--you don't want them, as they most likely are not perfect either. As for as a giving you a little encouragement, my husband and I met over 22 years ago through a 'pen-pal' ad in the back of a rural magazine. We wrote to each other a couple of months, burned up the phone lines, met and then married in the following year. Starting out from that first meet-up, we've had the uncanny ability to think the same thing at the same time---I'd say something and he'd say, "I was just thinking the same thing..." and vice versa. Don't sell yourself short and don't accept someone who you know in your heart is not for you. Even being alone is better than being with someone who is not compatible.